David's Birth Plan

Some things are so similar to my previous birth plans, and some are so very, very different.

Our son’s name is David Shalom. David has anencephaly. We have chosen to carry him to term and we have looked forward to this day with joy and grief. We realize that David will look different physically, but we hope everyone can see him for what he is: our precious son who we love. We know our time with David will be short, and we want to cherish each moment we have with him in a loving and caring environment.
• We ask that our son be referred to as David.
• If possible, we would like a nurse experienced in bereavement.
• We are hoping for an unmedicated birth, with as little intervention as possible.
• Please do not offer pain medication; I will ask for it if I want it. I prefer a heparin lock to an iv.
• We do not want any heartbeat monitoring. We may choose to listen for a heartbeat when we first arrive at the hospital.
• I would like to be able to change positions and labor outside of the bed, even if my water has broken. Also, I may want to push and deliver in alternative positions such as squatting or side lying. I prefer to use people for leg support.
• I do not want to have my water broken; I prefer it to break on its own.
• (If a cesarean delivery becomes necessary, please follow as many of our wishes below as possible. Please give David to his father as soon as possible after delivery.)
• After delivery, please place David on his mother’s abdomen to care for him. Please apply a non-adhering bandage to his head, and then put on the hat we have provided for him to wear. We would like skin to skin contact.
• Please do suction David’s airway as soon as he is born to help him breathe. We would like mechanical assistance to be used only temporarily to initiate breathing.
• We do not want any extraordinary measures taken to maintain David’s breathing or heartbeat. We do want him to be as comfortable as possible. Please keep us informed of our options (use of oxygen, pain medication, etc). We do not want any routine medications given to David.
• We would like the nursing staff to weigh and measure David when we request it. If we forget to ask, please make sure this is done before he leaves the hospital.
• We want David’s life to be surrounded by love. He has siblings and grandparents who are eager to meet him. If we think it best, other family members, a few close friends, and pastors from our church may come and meet him as well.
• _____________from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep will be taking memorial photographs.
• Please offer us a choice of a postpartum room or a room away from the maternity floors.
• If David is doing better than expected, we would like to take him home under hospice care.
• We do not want David’s body to go to the morgue at any time. We request that the hospital contact ______ Funeral Home when we are ready to say goodbye. We wish for David to be picked up from us and carried from the hospital by the funeral home representative.
• Please save any keepsakes and mementoes for us to take home.
• After David’s death, his mother would like to be able to go home as soon as it is medically safe.
We appreciate your support in this difficult and emotional time, and thank you for helping us make David’s life as meaningful as possible to our family.