Friday, February 10, 2017

The Great Conversation, Screens, and Passing Judgment

When walking our dogs Wednesday morning, I discovered something about myself. If your child throws a tantrum at the grocery store or disobeys you at the park or some similar event, I will overlook it completely. Kids are kids and as a parent you are trying to guide and teach them and it is hard. I get it. My kids have naughty moments, too. BUT if you do not train your dog to walk on a leash and they pull and drag you and bark at everything that moves I will absolutely judge you! Nick was the worst walker ever. With great stubbornness and daily practice on my part he has become the best walker ever. In a nutshell, training dogs is a lot easier than training children. Maybe this is why so many young couples get a dog first to practice on. We had three fur babies before we started on the human variety, and are still training them all with mixed results. ;)

On to other unrelated matters. Pregnancy is going well and we are continuing to treasure this time with David. We are praying against any complications, that I would go into labor on my own, and that David would be born alive and his siblings have a chance to meet him. Please pray with us as God leads you.

And now on to other unrelated matters. I've mentioned before that we are taking a classical education approach to our homeschool. It is cohesive and comprehensive and fits well with my teaching style. There are so many curriculums to choose from that you can make it fit with whatever learning style your child has. We read and read and read and think and memorize and experiment. Our children have very limited screen time (typically one movie/90 minutes of Mister Rogers Neighborhood per week, and 15 minutes on the computer or ipad during library visits). I figure they will have plenty of time to catch up later. In these early elementary years, we do not use technology at all for school. Clicking icons develops different parts of the brain than printed books. For us, screens are for entertainment, not teaching. In later school years we will use technology more and I'm sure they'll catch up just fine. My primary concern with screens is that adults use them to keep children occupied when they should be parenting them. Ouch, I know. But parenting is hard sometimes and you have to be involved and interact! This was recently brought home to me by two incidents.

#1 The kids and I were looking through a scrapbook of a trip I took to New York in high school (looking at Mama and Daddy's childhood pictures is a current favorite). While looking at the page about the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Jacob recognized some famous paintings he had seen before and even knew some of the artists. We have not done any formal art study at all, he just knew this from books we have borrowed from the library or flipped through off our own bookshelves. Jacob is my most screen-attached child. If there is a screen on, he is completely zoned in on it and ignores everything else. For me, this little incident confirmed we are definitely taking the right approach with him.

#2 The Gent and I took the kids to a family event at the library. A quartet from the symphony came and did a 30 minute program for preschool-2nd grade. There were about 100 kids there. Many of them were running around talking, ignoring the program and making it difficult for the kids who did want to engage to even hear. Meanwhile their parents sat in the back of the room playing on their phones. :/ All four of our kids (even Nora, who just turned two last week) were very interested. On the drive home, they talked about the instruments we saw and the music we heard and what they want to learn to play when they grow up (Jacob wants to learn to play the drums, uh oh!).

I'm not writing these things to try to make any parent feel guilty. But do be conscious of the way you use technology--don't let it take the place of actually parenting and teaching and guiding your child. They can be entertained without screens. They can even learn to entertain themselves. Raise them to be part of the Great Conversation! While I go walk my practically perfect dogs, be encouraged by these words from Roald Dahl:

Mike Teavee poem from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

1 comment: