ReMoved

I have a lot of pictures to sort through and post and I'll get to those soon. Lately I keep thinking of this video, though, and I wanted to share it today. Foster care is messy and broken and there may not be a happily ever after. But the children and families you touch through it are all made in God's image and they are infinitely valuable. Jesus said whatever you do for the least of these, you do for Me. The impact you can have on a child and their hurting family may never be seen in this life, but to paraphrase C.S. Lewis, you've never met just a person, but an eternal soul.

Link to the ReMoved film is here.

Baby C Update

Some of you may remember "Baby C," a baby boy we cared for during his first five weeks of life. He left our home so he could be placed in the same foster home as his older sister, as soon as he was old enough to go to day care. Last week the Gent and I attended a foster parent training meeting and had a God-ordained meeting with Baby C's adoptive family! I struck up a conversation with another mom, asked her about her children, and she told me she had a daughter and a 2 1/2 year old son with Baby C's name who was born in October. A few questions later and I realized we had the privilege of caring for her son as a newborn! She and her husband adopted Baby C and his big sister about a year ago. The Gent and I were so excited to hear that he now has a forever family and was able to stay with his sister. We typically don't know what happens to our foster babies after they leave our home, and it was such a blessing to be able to see how this little boy has thrived!

Foster Parent Update

This foster parent update is long overdue. We’ve now been licensed foster parents since July 2012. Jacob was our first placement. For the first year we kept thinking he would be able to return to his first mama, but after about a year several things happened that changed our minds. We began hoping and praying that he would be able to stay forever. It was a long, long journey with many twists and turns and we wondered if it would ever end. Those of you who were on our prayer email list know all those details. We learned so much about God’s provision and His enduring faithfulness during that time.

We have had about eight or so other placements, all short-term, ranging from one night to four weeks. Most of those children were able to be placed with a family member, and a couple moved on to a long-term foster home. We are not taking placements now, but plan to resume short-term, emergency care at the end of the summer. We will do that for a while and see how it goes. Right now I don’t feel like I can manage more than four very young children. But we also don’t sense that this call God has placed on us has ended. We will see where He takes us as the road unfolds.
The need is great. There are so many hurting children and broken families who need someone to believe in them and love them. At a recent foster parent meeting, a young woman who had grown up in foster care spoke to us. She lived in more foster homes and group homes than she could remember to count, from the age of 3 until she aged out. No one ever adopted her. No one came to her graduation, or wrote her letters during boot camp, or gave her a place to come home to for Christmas.

Are foster children easy to parent? Oftentimes, no. And I wouldn’t recommend you jump in without a lot of prayer and study. But God equips the called and He will enable you to do the work.

It's a Boy!

Gotcha there, didn't I? Still on baby watch over here and we are still expecting Munchkin to be a girl.

However!

We are beyond excited to announce that we are--at long last to us but in God's perfect timing--moving forward with JJ's adoption. We started the paper-signing process today and are anticipating a court date in the next two to three months to finalize the adoption decree. At that time we will announce his new name and finally post photos of his sweet little face!

The whole process has been an emotional roller coaster, especially the last 15 months or so. Someday I may write about that whole experience.

But for now we are thrilled to make this announcement and are deeply appreciative of your prayers on our behalf.

There's Enough Love

I haven't written much about foster parenting lately because we are in a difficult place with JJ's case. I have lots of thoughts percolating and will try to sort them out into written form over the next several weeks. In the meantime, please pray for our sweet boy. And read this thought-provoking article on adopting out of foster care: There's Enough Love "Foster children are not damaged goods. If adopted into permanent homes that provide loving and appropriate support, they turn out quite well--and infinitely better than their peers who age out of care."

One year ago today . . .

. . . JJ was returned to our custody after an absence of exactly four weeks. We have treasured this past year with him and have had so much fun watching him grow and learn! He is a little boy now, not the baby who came to us. JJ loves any and all toys he can manipulate, take apart, destroy, and put back together. He enjoys playing outside, especially with his lawn mower and water sprayer. He likes the water and any cars, trucks, or things that go. We don't know what his future holds and are conscious of the sadness surrounding his current placement in foster care, but we are thankful for these days the Lord has given JJ to us. Tomorrow he will be three. Happy birthday, JJ!

JJ Court Update

So we went to court this morning, and all went well. That's about all I'll say here but please keep praying! There are many more steps ahead on JJ's journey.

JJ Update + Sophie Starts Solids

Oy. Life is crazy sometimes...and right now is one of those times. We were just trotting along, minding our own family business, loving kids, walking dogs, buying groceries...and wham! Most of the craziness has to do with JJ and a court hearing that will take place next Tuesday, November 12. I don't share the details of our foster babies' stories here, but suffice it to say that it has been a crazy couple of weeks and we would really appreciate your prayers over this upcoming hearing.

And I took Sophie in for a weight check last week and she is not gaining weight the way she should, so we are starting solids (a little earlier than I'd hoped) and seeing if that helps. We'll go back for another weight check on Friday, so please pray that she has begun gaining again and we don't need to do further testing.

She started with sweet potatoes, and she wasn't too sure at first, but by day two she was definitely on board! She tried bananas today and they were a hit, as well. Next up: avocado!

JJ's Happenings

Beach pictures coming later this week...in the meantime I thought I'd give you a quick JJ update. Court was last week, and was continued until mid-December. Which basically means everything stays the same for now. He has weekend visits with his mother twice a month, and his future is still very much in limbo. Our mantra these days: God is in control!

JJ is talking up a storm these days. Paragraphs, stories, and learning to pray. Too precious. He is almost potty-trained (still wearing a pull-up at naptime and bedtime)--WOO HOO! He still adores his stuffed animals, books, and running full speed everywhere he wants to go and dragging his feet anywhere you want to go. :) JJ thought the waves at the beach were the most awesome thing ever. He liked to lay in his belly on the sand and let the waves roll him around. He is really excited about football season beginning!

Friday Thought

Each of us is able in some way to help a child know there is hope for the helpless, and we can do that out of love, not guilt. Lawrence Bergeron

Think, Pray, Act

I hope this brutally honest post shakes up your happy little world a bit. :)

When people find out the Gent and I are foster parents, the responses we get are most always variations on the same theme.

I could never do what you do.
That must be so hard.
You're a really great person to do that.

Here are some of my thoughts on these common responses.

I'll be the first to admit that not everyone is called to be a foster parent. But there are a whole lot more people who are called than who are answering the call. I think there are a lot of people God is calling who are too scared and/or selfish to step up and help a child and their birth family who are in desperate need.

Because it is messy. And hard. And it is going to disrupt your life.

But that doesn't mean it isn't worth it. In our county, there are 10 foster children for every 1 foster family. And that means the vast majority of kids here--kids coming from horrible situations, when they need a stable, loving family more than ever--are living in group homes. That's just a politically correct word for orphanages. And no matter how well-run and nice it is, it's not the same as a family.

Think past the excuses and examine what it is that the Lord really wants you to do. He's calling you to do something...whatever it is (and there are many worthy causes, fostering is just one place to serve)...DO IT. Step out in faith and obedience and trust the Lord to guide you.

Trust me, you could do what I do. It really isn't that hard. It's just day in, day out loving a child--and their family--who needs you. I'm really not a great person. Some days my kids drive me crazy and I feel like the best I can do is just not enough. But God promises us His grace is always sufficient. And it is. If you believe that, then it's time to act.

Short JJ update and more Annie pictures

JJ is back with us until his next court date in August. His case will be transferred to yet another social worker soon, and I may get a little more information then. But for now we are happy he is here! Please continue to pray for all of us.

And I have more Annie pictures for you. We went to the botanical gardens a couple of weeks ago. She had a great time running (emphasis on the running part--she does not do slow) all over and exploring the beauty around us.




I'm not sure what this face is for.


Or this one.


Hey, look, she's still!




She plopped down on the edge of a flowerbed and said, "take my picture, Mommy!"


The roses were in full bloom.

JJ's Back. For now.

Hi friends and family,

JJ is back with us for now. There were some new developments in his case over the weekend and his guardian decided it would be best if he returned to foster care. So JJ came back to us last night and we are so happy to have him here. Annie keeps running around saying "JJ back, JJ back!" Our little guy has had a rough month but we're trying to get him sorted back out. Hopefully before the baby comes. :) He goes to court again next Wednesday and we'll see what happens then. He is currently on his fourth social worker . . .

Please continue to pray for JJ as he adjusts to being back with us and for his long-term future. Pray for his social worker, attorney, and the judge in the case. And pray for his guardian and his birth family.

Today is JJ's second birthday. Happy birthday, sweet boy!

JJ's Birthday Party

We hosted JJ's monkey birthday party this weekend. He was with his mom for a weekend visit and she brought him to the party. We're glad we still got to celebrate JJ turning two! Thanks so much to Honey for all her help with decorations, planning, and food, and to all our family and friends who gathered to celebrate a special little boy!

Another quick fostering update + photo of Annie and JJ

I was cleaning out photos last night and came across this adorable one of the "almost twins." Sweet little blonde babies! We are looking forward to hosting JJ's birthday party this weekend and spending some time celebrating our little man.



And a quick fostering update: last week we had a three month old girl for a few days, until she was able to go to her grandmother. This week we had a fifteen month old girl for a few days, until she was able to go to her grandmother. Both babies were a joy to have around and Annie enjoyed getting in some big sister practice. I told our social worker we would consider taking another placement through the end of next week, and then we're going to take a break until after the baby comes. We'll see what happens next--never a dull moment around here!

Amelia Island, another baby, and a visit with JJ

The Gent and I recently spent the weekend on Amelia Island. It was the longest we'd ever left Annie but she had a blast with her Honey and Poppa. It was our last chance to be kid-free for quite a while (since I tend to nurse babies forever and I hate pumping) and we made the most of it.





And in fostering news . . . I talked to our social worker at 9am this morning and told her we were ready for another placement. She called back at 11:20am to say she had a baby for us. Baby B is three months old and has black curly hair and chubby little thighs. She should be moving on to a relative placement on Thursday and our home will just be a brief stop for her. We're honored to care for her while she's here. Annie loves the baby so far. She has appointed herself "helper." We had dinner with JJ and his mom tonight and it was great to see him. He came running up to Annie, yelling her name over and over again. It was very adorable. He was sad and confused when we left, but I think it would be worse not to see him at all. It will get easier on him as he adjusts to his new situation.

Fostering Update, Prayer Requests, and a Song

Today is a catch-up post of randomness. Hoping something here will speak to you this Monday!

The Gent and I spent some time this weekend praying and reflecting over our foster parenting experience so far and asking God what He would have us do next. We sense that God is telling us to be open to accepting another child at this time. Proverbs 3:27 says, "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act." So I left a message with our social worker this morning and we'll just see if anything comes of it. 

We are going to meet JJ and his mom for dinner Tuesday night (she has an overnight visit with him) and are looking forward to that. We were supposed to see him and his new guardian tonight but he has hand, foot, and mouth disease so we have to wait till he isn't contagious anymore. Poor little guy. Too many changes too quickly for his body to keep up, I guess. Other than that his mom and guardian (he's been going back and forth between them) both report he is adjusting pretty well. He likes to look at our pictures and has been asking for Annie. The Gent and I read a recordable storybook for him. Then when he misses us he can look at his book and hear us talk to him. (Thank you, Angela, for this great idea!)

Some prayer requests about friends and babies to share with you. Please join us in lifting these three families up before the Lord this week.

- Friends who have been trying to conceive for years are pregnant for the first time! It is very, very early in their pregnancy and we are praying for this little one to grow strong and healthy.

- A sweet friend miscarried a couple of months ago and is grieving the loss of her baby while also wanting to conceive again as soon as possible. Pray for healing for her heart and body and that God will grant her and her husband another child soon.

- Our friends Jacob and Shanna lost their first son, Elijah, at birth about a year and a half ago. They are expecting a little boy, Jude, in June. Jude is experiencing some complications with his kidneys. Please pray for healing for his little guy and peace for his parents as they learn what will come next. You can follow along with their family at http://jmscrimp.wordpress.com/

To conclude this random post, my Nana sent me the words to this sweet hymn last week and I wanted to share it with you. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him today.

God Hath Not Promised Skies Always Blue

Annie Johnson Flint

God hath not promised skies always blue,

Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;

God hath not promised sun without rain,

Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.

But God hath promised strength for the day,

Rest for the labor, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help from above, 

Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

God hath not promised we shall not know

Toil and temptation, trouble and woe;

He hath not told us we shall not bear

Many a burden, many a care.

But God hath promised strength for the day,

Rest for the labor, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help from above, 

Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,

Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;

Never a mountain, rocky and steep,

Never a river, turbid and deep.

But God hath promised strength for the day,

Rest for the labor, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help from above, 

Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

JJ: 23 months and big news

JJ is almost two and thinks he's so big! He loves to talk and is really excited about being understood. His favorite thing is to be outside, especially if there is water involved!

Now on to the big news. With foster parenting we know to expect the unexpected, and that's what happened yesterday. Against the recommendations of almost everyone, he was placed with a family friend last night. JJ's mom was also granted overnight and weekend visits. We can't see that anything has changed since he was removed from the home last July, and of course we have lots of questions we won't ever get answers to.

But...that's the work God has called us to do. He brings children to us for a season to love and guide and then we have to trust Him to take care of the rest. Please continue praying for all of us as we adjust to our new normal, and especially for JJ as he gets to know his new placement. We're all a bit emotional right now. Please also pray for guidance for the Gent and me as we decide whether or not to take another child in the next couple of weeks. We realize it seems crazy to even consider with baby girl due in five weeks, but when is there ever a good time to completely disrupt your life? :) We're waiting for God to show us one way or the other.

I've been studying Daniel with a ladies group at church, and what we've been learning over and over is that God is sovereign over all things. If God directs the hearts even of pagan kings, we know that His hand is at work in our current circumstances, too. The judge didn't just decide to move JJ on a whim--God is directing all things and we trust that He is working for our good.

Thankfully, we will still have some contact with JJ. The social worker insisted on it and his mother and new guardian are open to us remaining in contact. We hope that will make the transition a little easier on us all.

Stay tuned for the next update on our rapidly changing family!

JJ: 22 Months

JJ has grown by leaps and bounds this month. His language is starting to take off and he's made great strides in controlling his tantrums. He loves being outside, drinking milk, and listening to music. He really enjoyed our trip to the beach. His mom has court next month, but JJ's social worker told me last week she doesn't anticipate anything will change at this court hearing. We'll see what God has in store for this little guy's future.

JJ: 21 Months

JJ's language is taking off this month. He is parroting lots of words back to me and he really likes being better at communicating. Yesterday he learned "choo choo." He had lots of fun helping his train make noises. We encourage him to use a word to say what he wants instead of throwing a fit. This month we switched strategies for dealing with his tantrums (we have been ignoring them for seven months, and obviously that was not working) and introduced time out. Which for him, just means I put him in his crib till he stops screaming, and then get him right up. It usually takes less than a minute and so far if has been very successful (no more tantrums for the rest of that day). Part of parenting . . . constantly changing strategies and looking for the one that works, at least for a while! JJ likes music, stuffed animals, books, his toy vacuum cleaner (but not the real one), and going "bye bye." He ate strawberries for the first time this month, after being offered them 457 times. Slowly but surely he is learning to eat new foods! His favorites are milk, bread, turkey sausage, and banana.