Organizing Your Time and Space

I recently gave a talk to our homeschool mom's group on "Organizing Your Time and Space." I'm not sure if it was helpful to anyone else, but it helped me feel more organized just writing my speaking outline. Thankful I learned from the true master, Honey a.k.a. Mom!

Organizing Your Time and Space 

I. Time 

    A. Every family is different. You will have different strengths and weaknesses, different learning styles, different needs. 

    B. Start with spending time with the Lord. Kids can join in. 

    C. My hourly schedule – may look overwhelming at first, but it shows me where my margins are. Combines my calendar and to-do list. 

        a. Leave room for margin (quiet time—first 30 minutes, reheat coffee and Instagram) 

        b. Leave room for your hobbies/interests (read, piano, out with a friend) 

        c. Date your husband and your kids (babysitting swap with a friend) 

    D. If your resources allow, get help. 

        a. Housekeeper 

        b. Grocery delivery 

        c. Babysitter one afternoon a week 

    E. Schooling 

        a. You really can’t do it all, I have tried so hard! 

        b. Play to your strengths (I’m not a nature girl, I hate history projects, love to read). 

        c. No school is perfect—private, public, home—they’ll all have gaps. 

        d. Day in, day out learning adds up to a whole lot by the year’s end. 

        e. Structure: morning time, then tutorials, after lunch is together time subjects. 

        f. In previous years I’ve done different things—all grades handwriting, all grades math, etc. Rotation Stations. 

        g. Trust in what the Lord has called you to do. 

        h. Pray for wisdom. 

    F. Take inventory 

        a. What’s working, what’s not? Possible solutions. 

        b. Write out a family mission statement—if you want—how do those priorities fit in your life? 

 II. Space 

    A. Two mantras: 

        a. Everything has a place and everything in its place. 

        b. Don’t put it down, put it away. 

    B. Teach kids to help 

         a. Laundry basket idea—gather up all you can find, a quarter to get anything back 

        b. Transfer responsibility to your child—help them develop their own plan, resort to the Mom plan when needed 

        c. 15 minute pick-up time/cleaning time 

    C. Get rid of clutter. Give away things you haven’t used in the past year. Simplify. 

    D. Cleaning routine 

        a. I have daily tasks—dust Monday, clean kitchen and baths Tuesday, floors Wednesday, wash sheets and towels Thursday. 

        b. It is easier to clean a clean house. It doesn’t take very long. 

        c. A weekly wipe-up keeps the house clean enough. 

        d. Deep cleaning—some seasons I’ve had a schedule, some seasons I just wait till something starts bothering me or I have time to scrub. 

    E. Meals routine 

        a. Let kids help in kitchen—teaching and serving opportunity! Sometimes seems more trouble than it’s worth, but say yes when you can. 

        b. Dinner short-cuts—make double batches and freeze half, use that crock pot! 

        c. Make a master grocery list. 

III. Conclusion: Grace 

    A. We all need more grace. “From His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” John 1:16         B. Ann Voskamp: Life is not an emergency, it’s a gift. 

    C. Enjoy your children. Soak up each phase. It won’t last.

My Clean-Enough House

We've had a housekeeper off and on since we began homeschooling. It is always a treat to have someone else clean for me! But this fall I decided that the older kids and I could take over for a while. 

I have two primary house-cleaning mantras: 

It is easy to clean a clean house. 

A weekly wipe-up keeps a clean-enough house. 

By that I mean that everything gets a quick clean once a week. Our rental house isn't very big and it doesn't take long. One day a week we dry dust with a Swiffer duster, one day a week we clean bathrooms and the kitchen, and one day a week we vacuum the whole house and mop the kitchen and bathrooms. I don't currently have a deep-cleaning schedule. If something starts looking really dirty or I have some extra time, I can scrub at whatever has caught my attention. If we miss something, we'll get to it the next week. 

I'm sure I'll have a housekeeper again in the future, but for now it feels good to be responsible for my own house again. :)

Sanity for Supermoms

I'm finding there's plenty of help and ideas for kids...I think the Supermoms deserve some suggestions for keeping their sanity, too!

I know you've heard this before, but you need a routine/schedule. You don't have to be locked in to serving breakfast at 7:33am, brushing teeth at 7:58, etc. Just follow the same pattern each day. It will help. We are creatures of habit--make sure you're developing good ones. Also, if at all possible (if your kids get up at sunrise, I'm sorry, and I realize this isn't possible--take advantage of quiet afternoon time instead), get up before your kids do. Exercise, spend time in God's Word and prayer, and get dressed before your kids are up. Your whole day will go more smoothly.

Light a candle. Arrange some flowers if anything's blooming in your yard. Go for a walk. Spend time with your spouse.

Take time each day to sit down and rest for a few minutes. Put your feet up and if you're like me, reheat the coffee that's been sitting on your counter since mid-morning. ;) Give yourself some grace to have some down time. I've been reading a lot--some weighty books, and a lot of just-for-fun fiction. I finally read all the Harry Potter books. I'm playing with some hand-lettering and wishing I was a crafter. Maybe next time we're homebound for weeks I'll learn to knit or something...

I did find a new-to-me podcast I'm really enjoying. It's called Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs. Great advice for moms. Every morning while I workout, I listen to The World and Everything In It, a daily news podcast. I also enjoy the Read Aloud Revival and Raising Boys and Girls. Sometimes I listen to At Home with Sally, Listening In, The Olasky Interview, and Don't Mom Alone. I listen to podcasts while I cook, drive (remember those days?), exercise, pay bills, fold laundry, etc.

Oh, definitely reach out to family and friends and neighbors daily! Chat with your neighbors from six feet away as you walk your street, Facetime with family, make phone calls and send emails and write texts.

Finally, music. Here's the best Easter soundtrack: Andrew Peterson's Resurrection Letters. Listen to the Prologue album today and tomorrow. Sunday, play Vol. 1. And then look ahead to the final resurrection with Vol. 2. These songs have so much truth and beauty. Every time I listen I learn something new.

When all else fails, try hot tea. Or wine. A bath, a good night's sleep, and ice cream are also helpful pick-me-ups.

'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far

At different times in my life different lines in this hymn have resonated with me. Lately it has been this one: "Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home." When I look back at the life I've lived so far, and anticipate the joys and griefs ahead, this is the truth that has seen me through. I know it will see me through what is yet to come. The grace of God has brought me through, and I can trust that His grace will continue to be sufficient for what is ahead. Thanks be to God for the gift of His grace, always sufficient to meet our needs.

Amazing Grace, by John Newton

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The world shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun refuse to shine;
But God, who called me here below,
Shall be forever mine.

When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.

Thoughts On Three Precious Sons

The Gent and I spent a lot of time in prayer and consideration before we felt the Lord tell us to move forward with growing our family (again). To be honest, we thought we were through after Nora. We had always talked about 4 or 6 kids and felt like four was it (I mean, four kids under four was an absolute joy that I would not trade for anything, but it was also an intense time). Our beloved David, our resurrection baby, was not a blessing we asked for, but a gift who was entrusted to us. It is no coincidence he was due right around Easter. His life and death have thinned the veil that separates us from heaven forever.

When we first found out baby Poptart was on the way, we honestly hoped baby would be a girl. We just thought it would be easier all around. But the Lord knows just what our family needs and He has once again blessed us with a precious son. I still have the same concerns that initially made me think a girl would be easier.

It is very painful for people to celebrate that Jacob is finally getting a brother. I want to tell them all that Jacob already has a brother. I remind myself often that many people don't know our story and they have their own sadnesses that they carry and that it is natural and kind for people to be excited about babies. I worry that Poptart will feel pressured to fill David's place in our family and I don't want that pressure to be put on any child ever. Our children are all about two years apart. Nora and Poptart will have four years between them, because that is David's place in the middle. I worry that someone will say something hurtful in front of Jacob along the lines of "you're finally getting a boy." I have a firstborn son. He was not birthed from my body but he is fully and completely my first son. And why are people so obsessed with the Gent "finally getting his boy?" See the complaints above.

Forgive my sensitive mama heart and celebrate with us. We already have two much-loved sons. We are abundantly blessed that the Lord has given us this third son. Feeling Poptart kick and squirm and seeing the incredible, beautiful love his siblings already have for him is a gift. We didn't think we would get to do this again. We are blessed indeed.

Thoughts on Femininity and Crassness and Other Controversial Things

If you've been reading along here for a while, you won't be surprised by my thoughts below. I'm a traditionalist in many things, and what I refer to as a "true feminist." I believe women and men of all races and nations and colors and socio-economic statuses and abilities are created in the image of God. Every life from the tiniest preborn baby to the oldest person in the nursing home is sacred, because we are His image-bearers. Every life is sacred because every person has an eternal soul. Every life should be treated equally under the law, and every life valued equally. That does not mean that men and women have to do everything equally. It is okay for men to be inclined toward some interests and women inclined toward another. That doesn't make men better than women any more than it makes women better than men. It just means we are all people who are gifted by our Creator in different ways and it is our job to be wise stewards of God's good gifts.

But as a mother of three girls I want them to know that it is okay to embrace your femininity. The Lord has filled your heart with a desire to nurture and guide and given you a love for beauty and that is a good thing. Do not disregard the gifts of our gracious God who loves you. You represent something that is quickly disappearing in our world. It is painful for me to meet some women (not all of them, but some) who work with my husband and witness their brashness and hear the crass words that come pouring out of their beautiful mouths. I have no respect for men or women who cannot express themselves without profanity (see, I warned you I was a traditionalist).

I want my girls to know that yes, you can be anything you want to be. But no, you cannot do it all. All the best gifts require sacrifice. Remember the stories Jesus told about the treasure and the pearl?

Matthew 13:44-46 "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it."

Yes, you can study hard and become the best in your chosen field. But it may not leave you time to be the wife your husband needs or the mother your children need. It is okay for you to decide that the Lord has called you to put others first in your life and set your own plans aside, for a season or forever. Your Daddy and I chose to do that for you. Daddy is a great lawyer and he could move to a more prestigious city and work much longer hours and make a lot more money, but he wants to be home for dinner every night and come to your ballet recitals and coach your brother's baseball team and teach your Sunday School class. Mama considered several careers but decided that what she really wanted was to be a mom who genuinely enjoyed her children and spent her days with them. I didn't want to have babies and then hand them off to someone else to raise until they were old enough to be sent to school for someone else to teach. Is it a sacrifice for us to make these choices? In some ways, yes. But being your Mama and Daddy and raising you to know and love the Lord is more valuable than any other career we could choose. So when it is time for you to choose a career, I want you to think long and hard about it. I don't want you to be locked in to a particular path because you've taken on a ton of debt. Pray for guidance, find what and who you love, and be wise.

Prayer in Luke

(Just a few thoughts on these prayer posts--I'm compiling the verses in the New Testament that specifically use the word pray or prayer. Then I add a line or two from my journal that I've seen in the passage. Obviously there is much, much more that could be said on these passages. Book upon book and sermon upon sermon have been written about these truths. You can go read some of them for more. But start here, with God's Word.)

Luke 1:13
13 But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John.
- a common prayer of mankind: grant us a child
- Our prayers are heard. God is real, Hei s there, He cares, even if it seems to us that the answer is very long in coming.

Luke 2:37b
[Anna] did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day.
- Anna lived a life of prayer and praise, poured out to her Father in heaven

Luke 3:21-22
21 Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heavens were opened, 22 and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form, like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son;[a] with you I am well pleased.”
- the Son had not yet begun His ministry, but His Father was pleased with Him, just for who He was
- the three persons of the Trinity appear together here

Luke 5:16
16 But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.
- Jesus continues His habit of withdrawing in prayer. Even as His ministry rows, He does not neglect meeting with His Father.

Luke 5:33
33 And they said to him, “The disciples of John fast often and offer prayers, and so do the disciples of the Pharisees, but yours eat and drink.”
- Fasting has a place but it isn't meaningful if it isn't based on a relationship with God.

Luke 6:12-13
12 In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. 13 And when day came, he called his disciples and chose from them twelve, whom he named apostles:
- again, Jesus continues in prayer

Luke 6:28
Bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
- simple to say, hard to practice

Luke 9:18
18 Now it happened that as he was praying alone, the disciples were with him. And he asked them, “Who do the crowds say that I am?”
- Jesus' disciples observed His habits of prayer
- This time of prayer leads to Peter's declaration of Jesus as the Christ

Luke 9:28-29
28 Now about eight days after these sayings he took with him Peter and John and James and went up on the mountain to pray. 29 And as he was praying, the appearance of his face was altered, and his clothing became dazzling white.
- in prayer, God's glory is revealed

Luke 10:2
2 And he said to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.
- We are called to pray for missionaries to spread the love and truth of God around the world. Jesus left a job for believers to do.

Luke 11:1-12
Now Jesus[a] was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” 2 And he said to them, “When you pray, say:

“Father, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
3 Give us each day our daily bread,[b]
4 and forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation.”

5 And he said to them, “Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves, 6 for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; 7 and he will answer from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything’? 8 I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence[c] he will rise and give him whatever he needs. 9 And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 11 What father among you, if his son asks for[d] a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; 12 or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?
- God our Father wants to and does give us the good gifts we need (even if we don't recognize them as such)
- We can and should approach God as our Father
- He provides our greatest need: Himself

Luke 18:1-14
And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. 2 He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. 3 And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ 4 For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’” 6 And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. 7 And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? 8 I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”

9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed[a] thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
- pray always and never give up
- to be justified before God requires humility
- Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Luke 19:45-46
45 And he entered the temple and began to drive out those who sold, 46 saying to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be a house of prayer,’ but you have made it a den of robbers.”
- the church should be a house of prayer
- and since our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, so we should be a house of prayer also

Luke 21:36
36 But stay awake at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are going to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.”
- watch out for temptation
- pray for strength to be found faithful

Luke 22:32 (to Peter)
"But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”
- failures are an opportunity to strengthen others, not to give in to despair

Luke 22:39-46
39 And he came out and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him. 40 And when he came to the place, he said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.” 41 And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed, 42 saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” 43 And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. 44 And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.[a] 45 And when he rose from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping for sorrow, 46 and he said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation.”
- When we are weighed down and in anguish, we can always turn to our Father.

Prayer in Mark

Mark 1:35 And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.
- As in Matthew, Jesus makes time to pray, to be alone with His Father.
- God is with us, even in the desolate places.

Mark 6:46 And after he had taken leave of them, he went up on the mountain to pray.
- After teaching and pouring Himself out, Jesus needed time alone with His Father.
- (If you read the surrounding verses, it seems that Jesus spent several hours in prayer, through most of the night.)

Mark 9:29 And he said to them, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”
- Jesus drove out a demon through prayer, not something we think about when we contemplate prayer in our American culture.
- Prayer is powerful. Communicating with God Himself is an amazing thing.

Mark 11:24-25 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
- Prayer requires faith and forgiveness.

Mark 13:18 Pray that it may not happen in winter.
- Again, as in Matthew, Jesus cared for the plight of refugees.
- He is concerned with our physical well-being.

Mark 14:32-42 And they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. 34 And he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch.”[d] 35 And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. 36 And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” 37 And he came and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour? 38 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 39 And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words. 40 And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy, and they did not know what to answer him. 41 And he came the third time and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? It is enough; the hour has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 42 Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”
- Jesus was willing to do the Father's will, but He dreaded it. He felt every human emotion, magnified.
- He repeated His prayer three times, until His will was aligned with His Father's.

Prayer in Matthew

I don't know that I will do a post for each book, but here's what the Bible says about prayer in the book of Matthew, and a few things that stood out to me as I read and studied.

Matthew 5:44-45
44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
- first mention of prayer in the New Testament
- loving your enemies and praying for them is part of being a child of God
- looking at the Trinity in prayer: God our Father is in heaven, and God the Son is seated next to Him, interceding for us. God the Holy Spirit is within us, and helps us to pray

Matthew 6:5-13
5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. 9 Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.[a]
10 Your kingdom come,
your will be done,[b]
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread,[c]
12 and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.[d]
- don't pray to be seen by others, but to your Father who knows and loves you; no need for pretense or big words
- pray daily
- pray for God's kingdom to come and His will be done, then for our needs

Matthew 7:7-11
7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
- ask the Lord for what you need
- be persistent

Matthew 9:37-39
37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; 38 therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”
- pray for God to send out workers into His harvest; i.e. untold people around the world
- pray earnestly

Matthew 14:23
23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone,
- this verse comes after the death of Jesus' cousin, John the Baptist, and after Jesus taught and fed 5,000+ people
- what emotions Jesus must have been feeling . . . and He took those to His Father in solitary prayer

Matthew 19:13
13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray.
- it is right for us to bring our children to Jesus

Matthew 21:22
22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”
- with faith, we receive God's answers to our prayers; even when they are not the answers we think we need, we trust God will give us those good gifts He promised

Matthew 24:20
20 Pray that your flight may not be in winter or on a Sabbath.
- in this verse, Jesus is foretelling the fall of Jerusalem
- God cares for our physical needs; He was worried about the people who would be fleeing the city
- today, we can share this concern for refugees around the world, as they flee desperate situations

Matthew 26:36-46
36 Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch[a] with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” 40 And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? 41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” 43 And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44 So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. 45 Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on.[b] See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”
- Jesus again experienced very human emotions
- He was willing to go through with the Father's plan, but He was still in agony about it
- He repeated His prayer three times
- He fell on His face before His Father
- He prayed and accepted that God's will would be done
- we should pray that we will not fall into temptation

There you have it . . . a very few of the things I learned as I read through Matthew with a focus on prayer. There is always something new to be seen in God's living and active Word!

"Quiet Time"

Thought I'd throw a little Christianeese out there this morning -- "quiet time." Around here, quiet time refers more to the children's rest time each afternoon. But I suppose my morning prayer, Bible reading, and reflective time also counts as a quiet time. I need those minutes in the morning (after my workout, so I'm awake!--but before the children are) to center my day. This year I am reading through Paul David Tripp's New Morning Mercies devotional, and reading through the New Testament with a focus on prayer. I want to know more about what Jesus and the apostles taught about prayer, and about the prayers they prayed themselves. More on what I'm learning to come!

Someday

About 15 years ago I started a “Someday” journal, a bucket list/wish list of sorts. It was mostly a list of places to travel and skills to master, with a few other things thrown in. I came across this little journal when I was cleaning out a few weeks ago. It was an interesting exercise to glance back through it, and see what dreams have come to fruition and what dreams have changed. And for my check-things-off-the-list and if-it-is-written-down-I-must-follow-through personality to realize it is okay for your dreams to change. To a great extent, many things in my life have gone the way I expected they would. I hoped I would meet my husband in college, work for a few years, and then have precious babies and stay home to teach them and watch them grow. Those things have and are happening and they are my greatest blessings. Along the way, of course, has been much unanticipated joy and anguish. And some of those dreams have changed. I wanted to adopt a little girl, but God sent us Jacob and what would our family be like without this precious son? Through it all I’ve seen our gracious Lord’s hand. He is so good to us.

Bible Study this Year

The past four years I have studied a book of the Bible through Bible Study Fellowship. But with homeschooling taking off in full swing this year, I wasn’t able to participate in the weekly morning class anymore. And our family struggles with evening obligations. It is just hard to be out at night with kids, or for the Gent to be able to come home early consistently. BSF wasn’t something I could commit to this year. And the women’s studies at our church were all during the daytime, too.

But what to do instead?! I’ve been keeping up with my daily Bible reading. This year I have been reading through the New Testament. Did you know if you read one chapter a day, Monday through Friday, you’ll read all the NT in a year with a few days to spare? I’ve also been continuing in Nancy Guthrie’s One Year Book of Hope.

Now that our school year is in a good pattern, I’ve added a bit more in-depth study. Nancy Guthrie’s Holding on to Hope includes a study on the book of Job that I’ve started walking through. And I also have Ann Voskamp’s Broken Way study guide. I plan to tackle one at a time. Then after that I’m going to use my concordance to read through what the New Testament says about prayer. I plan to go slowly through this, with my journal, and really study for myself what God’s Word has to say about prayer. I’ve heard plenty of sermons on prayer and ready plenty of books about it, but after our journey with David, I just find prayer mystifying and confusing and sometimes futile. I pray for my family and Compassion kids and the needs I know of in our church and community group and elsewhere, but I don’t really know why I’m doing it or what I’m supposed to be accomplishing. I need to cut out the chatter from others and study and listen for myself to what the Lord really teaches about prayer in His Word. I’m excited to dive in to this and see what truths He has to teach me.

Rejoice with those who rejoice . . .

Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
I think the body of Christ is good at this last part. And it IS good to weep with those who weep and grieve with those who grieve and mourn with those who mourn. But let’s not neglect the first part. It is good to rejoice with those who rejoice! Be joyful for the blessings and the good things and the happy times. Be thankful in ALL things.

I’m confused when people ask me if it is hard to be around other babies or be happy about other women’s pregnancies. I am so thankful for them and their precious little ones. I certainly don’t want anyone else to walk this awful road we have walked, to carry and love their child and then bury them. Yes, when I see babies around David’s age I sometimes think, “this is what he would have been doing now if . . . “ But that is a fleeting thought. There really was no other “if” for him. His physical body was not made for life here. In heaven he is whole.

Nora was talking with me about David a few weeks ago. She was remembering holding him and how proud she was to be the big sister.
I held him, Mama.
Yes you did, baby girl.
David’s in heaven?
Yes, baby, in heaven.
With Jesus?
Yes, with Jesus.
Is he sad?
No, precious, I don’t think he’s sad.
He misses us.

I didn’t have a response to that. We certainly miss him. So we continue to trust that the Lord is with us in all circumstances, and nothing is beyond His redemption.

"God Won't Ever Let Me Down"

A few weeks ago I heard a song that kept repeating this phrase: "God won't ever let me down." I really struggled with that. I get what the songwriter was trying to say, but I think it requires more nuance than that phrase conveys. I can believe that God is sovereign and that He loves me and still be disappointed in what He does, or doesn't do. For Biblical examples, see the Psalms. Pretty much all of them.

I think this Aaron Keyes song expresses what's in my heart much better:

There is strength within the sorrow
There is beauty in our tears
And You meet us in our mourning
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting
You're sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding
You're teaching us to trust

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
You're faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

You are wisdom unimagined
Who could understand Your ways
Reigning high above the Heavens
Reaching down in endless grace
You're the lifter of the lowly
Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me
And Your promises are my delight

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
You're faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You're working for our good
You're working for our good and for Your glory

Link to listen here: Sovereign Over Us

What's Working, What's Not

Every so often I stop and take inventory. What’s working for our family and what’s not? Are we committed to some things that aren’t supporting our family goals and are stressing us out? Are there some things we should say no to? Some things to say yes to? Where do we need help? What isn’t working and how can we fix it?

Being able to answer these questions requires some kind of framework, a family mission statement if you will. Here’s ours:

“Our family seeks to glorify the Lord, and to reflect His great love for us in all we say and do. To that end, we seek to promote an atmosphere of peace and hospitality for all who live in our home and for all who enter it. Our relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ, our marriage, our relationships with our children, and our children’s relationships with each other are a priority.
We want to spread the Good News of Jesus in our neighborhood and around the world. We endeavor to be life-long learners as God is always refining us and molding us into the image of His Son Jesus.”

My recent inventory was a stream of consciousness jotted down on a Word document, and it looked something like this (I did this just before we started school last month):

What’s working:
Bible time
Devotion time
Chapter books – fairly well

What’s not working:
Sibling bickering
Instant obedience
Getting through the head to the heart
School is starting and I have too much on my plate – need to let some things go

What would help:
Add teatime (downtime, poetry read-aloud, memorization)
Buy small vacuum
Hire housekeeper
Figure out grocery plan/delivery/pick up
Shift some responsibility to children

Hospitality and friendship goals – once per month:
Date night
Babysitting swap with friends
Each child gets extended one on one time with Mama or Daddy
Have guests for dinner (two times per month)
Meet with Jacob’s birth mother
Me – night out with girl friends
The Gent – breakfast or lunch with friend, not work related

To flush it out a little . . .

What’s working. The children and I have Bible time (read from a children’s Bible, catechism, sing a hymn together) each morning after breakfast. We have been doing this since Annie and Jacob were two and it works well for our schedule and helps get our day off on a good note. We read through a children’s devotional book as a family each night at the end of dinner. Before rest time each afternoon, the children and I read their chapter books. (The Gent does this on weekends.) We usually have two books going—their literature book for school, and a fun or classic children’s book (Little House in the Big Woods, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Prince Caspian, etc).

What’s not working. My children had been fighting A LOT. I’m sure your kids never do this. ;) I have been providing a little more instruction—often, finding a particular child a task or game to do—and repeating over and over “blessed are the peacemakers!” This helps but we still need work. Instant obedience . . . in my opinion, this is more of a parenting failure. I call it “get off your butt parenting.” Following through consistently is hard work on parents . . . but my kids need to know that I mean what I say. So I am working on it. Getting through the head to the heart. This is a hard one. I don’t want my kids to just “be nice” and “be kind.” Because if moralism is all I’m teaching I’m failing. I want my kids to be kind and show love to each other because Jesus loved us so much that He gave His life for us and we want to reflect His light in what we do and say. I re-read Give Them Grace for inspiration.

With school getting ready to start, I realized I had too much on my plate. I love being superwoman and I’ll admit there’s some pride involved in doing it all myself. I LIKE to do it all myself. However, there just weren’t enough hours in the day. So I bought a cordless vacuum for quick clean up jobs and hired a housekeeper to come every two weeks. I’m getting used to the idea of paying someone else to do what I see as “my job.” I’m also trying to simplify my grocery/household shopping. I still love Aldi, but I’m supplementing that with the occasional Shipt delivery and Amazon Pantry order. Still figuring this part out. I’ve also shifted some responsibilities to my children. I started this in the middle of the summer when I was FED UP with them always under my feet in the kitchen. I realized they wanted to learn to cook and genuinely wanted to help me. So I assigned each child a meal to be my “helper” (breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner). I change it each week so each child gets to learn a few new cooking skills, practices setting the table, etc. Also, Annie is responsible for getting the mail, Jacob empties the trash, Sophie feeds Huck breakfast, and Nora feeds him dinner. Each child makes their own bed, gets dressed, cleans up their toys, carries their dishes to the kitchen, and helps put away their folded laundry (Nora still needs help with these things).

I wanted to provide a little reconnection time after our afternoon rest, so I instituted tea time. My children LOVE THIS. We gather around the table with a small snack and a cup of tea. They drink theirs from espresso cups and I read them poetry and it is such a precious 15 minutes together! Often in parenting you don’t get these sweet moments and I am so thankful for our afternoon teas.

I think the rest is pretty self-explanatory. A sweet friend and I started a babysitting swap about three years ago and it has been a lifesaver. One night a month she comes to my house and babysits my kids so the Gent and I get a date night. And one night a month I babysit for her munchkins and she and her husband get a night out. It’s awesome.

So go take inventory of your life. Keep making it better. Maybe you’ll hit on your own version of tea time!

A Thousand Tongues

Do you know this old hymn by Charles Wesley? We sang it in church a couple of weeks ago. I was struck by the last verse with this phrase I'd never really thought through before: "Saints below and saints above." I know that one of the things the saints do in heaven is worship, but I had never considered that as we are worshiping here on earth, we are joined with the saints above in worship of our great God. So as I worship here, throughout my day and week and on Sundays with other believers, I can join in with David in heaven. What a beautiful way to slip behind the veil that separates us just a little.

O for a thousand tongues to sing
my great Redeemer's praise,
the glories of my God and King,
the triumphs of his grace!

To God all glory, praise, and love
be now and ever given
by saints below and saints above,
the Church in earth and heaven.

All Tribes and Peoples and Languages

The Gent and I were in New York City for a long weekend this summer. As we do whenever we get the chance, we worshiped at a local church that Sunday morning. It is always so encouraging for me to remember that all over the world, Christians are gathering together in the name of Jesus. Even in the darkest places, His light finds a way to break through and darkness has to flee. In the presence of light, the darkness cannot exist. I enjoy worshiping in a tradition different from my own, a reminder of these verses below that heaven will be filled with people from all tribes and peoples and languages. What a beautiful sight that will be!

As we've continued to walk this path of grief and joy with David, we've been blessed by many churches who've prayed over us and filled our mailboxes with cards and precious handmade blankets and prayer shawls. The prayers of the saints being lifted up on our behalf is beautiful to behold. My heart is encouraged by my Catholic friends who requested masses said in David's memory. I love that when my Orthodox neighbor sits in the Divine Liturgy, the stained glass before her is of King David, and it reminds her to pray for our family each week. For all who love and believe in Jesus our Savior, He calls us His children.

Revelation 7:9-10
After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”

And yet, as my Bible Study Fellowship teacher wisely said, "All roads lead to God. But not all roads lead to heaven." When Jesus returns as King of Kings and Lord of Lords, every knee will bow and acknowledge Him. But only those who have trusted in Him for salvation will enter into His heavenly kingdom. May you rest in the assurance of His great love for you today. "The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth." Psalm 145:18

Lately

I'll get back to my regular posting schedule (usually Tuesdays and Fridays) soon. We've just had a lot going on lately. May was family time, June was easing into summer, and July was full-on summer. We have done several short trips and spent lots of time with friends and had many summer adventures. But now that August is here we are slowing down just a bit and getting ourselves back in order before we start school. Nora and I are going to finish her potty-training (she's been mostly potty-trained since May, we just haven't been home more than two days in a row to finish it) and all four children and Mama are working together on a return to instant obedience and cheerful hearts. Time to turn Jacob's response of "oh man" to "yes ma'am." ;)

I sat down last week and made a list of what's working and what's not. Where do we need more structure, where do we need a better system, where do we need to say no to a few things to make our lives more enjoyable and less hectic. I have some ideas for the fall so we will see how it goes as I set about implementing them. One thing the kids and I have already started (and they love) is afternoon tea-time. After rest time, we sit around the table and have a little snack together and I read a few poems aloud. Friday we had iced herbal tea and a chocolate chip cookie, today we are having banana "milkshakes" (banana, spinach, plain Greek yogurt, and milk with a few ice cubes). Usually our snack is fruit or nuts, but I'm trying to get out of the rut a little while still keeping it (mostly) healthy.

We framed and hung pictures of David last week and marked his three month day. I am glad to have the pictures up, even though it was difficult to look through them and decide what to have printed. I am thankful we have so many beautiful images. I'll share some here . . . eventually. Little bits at a time.

Yesterday, I sang with our church worship team for the first time since we got David's diagnosis. We sang Your Grace is Enough, It is Well with My Soul, and Sovereign Over Us. Beautiful songs. Hard to sing because those are the truths I am living now. But it was good to do. More healing, more moving forward. Thankful for family and friends who continue to pray us through.

More Honesty

People keep telling me they appreciate the honesty of my posts, so I suppose I’ll keep on in that same vein. I get the sense that everyone thinks I should be angry with God, judging by how many people have told me it’s okay to be angry. And I totally agree with that—God can certainly handle all of our emotions—yours and mine. He gave them to us and He sent His own Son to be fully human and have all of our same human emotions and struggles. But I’m really not angry. I have struggled with why God seems to have chosen not to heal our son, when I know He has the power to. While I do believe miracles still happen, I’ve never seen one as dramatic as it would be for David’s head to suddenly be made whole. I’ve been studying the Gospel of John this year through Bible Study Fellowship, and the earlier lessons on miracles were difficult for me. Why did Jesus heal some but not others? Why did Jesus send His disciples into the storm on the Sea of Galilee? When we studied the resurrection of Lazarus, and everyone talked about how Jesus wept, even though He knew He would raise Lazarus from the dead, I wanted to cry that no one is going to raise my baby from the dead! We will weep and mourn and death will sting.

As always, wiser Christians than me have dealt with these issues. The truth that Jesus is more concerned for our eternal life than our temporal life has hit home with me. The promises of healing that we try to apply to these earthly lives ring hollow—but our eternal healing is promised through the blood of Jesus. Is it hard to understand? Yes. But it is what I believe to be true…even if it is not the way I feel.

On Palm Sunday, the crowd rejoiced because their King was coming. But as it turns out, He wasn’t the King they wanted. They wanted the victor, the champion, the warrior king who would rescue them from oppression and provide for all their earthly needs.

Jesus didn’t give them what they wanted, because He knew what we really needed. I’ve often heard that phrase, “Jesus doesn’t give us what we want; He gives us what we need.” I’ve never really liked it much. I’d rather have what I want, wouldn’t you? But if Jesus had given in to the crowd and given them what they wanted, we would never have been able to come home to our Father and escape our rebellion. So instead of what we wanted, He gave us what we needed: the Suffering Servant. Who at the end of time will return as the Victor, riding a white horse, the Lamb who was slain.

P.S. I read this essay by Michael Gerson last night:
The Hope of Pardon and Peace I found the closing paragraphs especially poignant: "For believers, the complete story of Good Friday and Easter legitimizes both despair and faith. Nearly every life features less-than-good Fridays. We grow tired of our own company and travel a descending path of depression. We experience lonely pain, unearned suffering or stinging injustice. We are rejected or betrayed by a friend. And then there are the unspeakable things — the death of a child, the diagnosis of an aggressive cancer, the steady advance of a disease that will take our minds and dignity. We look into the abyss of self-murder. And given the example of Christ, we are permitted to feel God-forsaken.

And yet . . . eventually . . . or so we trust . . . or so we try to trust: God is forever on the side of those who suffer. God is forever on the side of life. God is forever on the side of hope.

If the resurrection is real, death’s hold is broken. There is a truth and human existence that cannot be contained in a tomb. It is possible to live lightly, even in the face of death — not by becoming hard and strong, but through a confident perseverance. Because cynicism is the failure of patience. Because Good Friday does not have the final word."

Because he is.

Thankfully, no one has directly questioned me about my decision to carry David to term. But I know some have had those thoughts. In actuality, the decision to carry David to term was made over fifteen years ago, when I realized that life absolutely does begin at conception. When sperm and egg meet, all that is necessary for life is there and a precious soul is created. Ultimately, the length of life or the size or development of a person doesn't matter. All persons are made in the image of our holy God. When our doctor gave us David's diagnosis at only 9 weeks, I knew immediately I would carry him for as long as I could. That doesn't mean I was excited about the thought of continuing along with a pregnancy when I knew my baby would die. It doesn't mean there weren't times I thought a natural miscarriage would make some things easier. But at 9 weeks, I could see his heart beating on that ultrasound screen. I could already count his fingers and toes. There was no doubt that what was growing inside of me was a baby, a life, a soul. When two of our babies died very small, before they even had a chance to develop much of a body and grow big enough to be born, I rested in knowing their souls were eternal. I know that I will meet Noel and Zion in heaven one day. I wept over not having the chance to hold them, but I will have that chance with David, and that is a gift. He will be held and he will be loved and his family will have the opportunity to meet him. For these small mercies, I am thankful. But David is not just a baby because I want him to be and because I chose life for him. He is a baby because he is.