One Week

One week ago today, I was in the intense part of labor and getting ready to meet my son. Yesterday, we celebrated his life and laid his earthly body in the ground. The Gent and I stood over his tiny casket and let go of him. I know our beloved David is with the Lord, that Jesus Himself is watching over him, that David is in the company of the saints and angels. And Noel and Zion are there with him.

I am thankful that David did not suffer through this life on earth, that he never knew the troubles and agonies of the world. I do not wish him back. But oh, how I miss him. I miss the weight of him in my arms. I hope I never forget how it felt to hold him. 7 lbs, 4 oz and 18 ½ inches of baby sweetness. I miss his tiny fingers curled around mine and his long fingernails and his perfect little toes. I miss the mouth that looked like Daddy’s and his squished little nose. I wish I knew what color his eyes were.

I never want to forget the proud looks on his siblings’ faces when they each got to meet him and hold him and rock him. It didn’t matter to them that he wasn’t perfect. It didn’t matter to them that his soul was already in heaven when they got to meet him. They sat and they rocked him and they loved him, just as he was.

For my Bible reading this year, I am reading through the New Testament, just one chapter a day. This year I wanted to slow down and really focus and meditate over the truths of this part of the Bible. My reading for the day David was born was John 20, about Jesus’ sacrificial death on our behalf. And the reading for Wednesday morning, John 21: the resurrection. There is a beautiful poignancy to the timing of those readings. I had to let my son, my David, go. But he left me to be resurrected into eternal life. There it is again—that promise of eternity—just when I needed it most.

1 Corinthians 15:19-22 If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive.

1 Timothy 4:10b We have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.

Hebrews 6:19-20 We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever.