Beautiful Things: A Heavenly Anniversary

Two years ago today our first baby went to heaven. I spent a good portion of this week in quiet reflection as I anticipated the anniversary of this day. Beautiful Things, by Gungor, and the words of Psalm 62 have been playing over and over in my head.

All this pain
I wonder if I'll ever find my way?
I wonder if my life could really change at all?

All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come out from this ground at all?

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

Indeed, God makes beautiful things out of our brokenness. He alone can turn our pain into hope, hope springing up all around us. Isn't that an amazing thing about the Lord? He refuses to leave us where we are. Instead, He is always prodding us to grow, to move forward, to transform the ugly into the beautiful.

Now, did that first pregnancy turn out the way I planned, the way I wanted it to? I think the answer to that is pretty obvious. I was devastated by Noel's loss. I grieved. Hard. There's still a lot of sadness. I don't want to re-live those days.

But the Lord calls us to give thanks in all circumstances. And maybe I couldn't do that two years ago, but I can today. I am thankful for Noel's life. I am thankful that I carried that little one inside my body. I am thankful for my baby blessing.

I am thankful for the lessons I learned through that journey. I know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, beyond emanations from penumbras, beyond anything--that God is love and that God is faithful.

Psalm 62:5-8
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from Him.
6 Truly He is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in Him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.

Amen, Lord Jesus. Come quickly.