Wednesday, March 19, 2014

It really is okay to teach your own kid

I recently heard two stories that made me incredulous. First, a friend told me her neighbor's son just started kindergarten and was amazed to find he didn't know concepts like the alphabet and counting. He hadn't learned them in the expensive preschool program he had attended for three years and his mom never bothered to find out if he was learning anything! Second, a mother took her four year old to take a KSAT test so she could apply for a pricey private school 30 minutes away (when they live in an excellent public school district). Her daughter was so nervous about taking the test she threw up as soon as they arrived at school.

We live in a city where almost every stay at home mom (off the top of my head, I can think of one friend who doesn't send her kids to "school") I know sends their young children to preschool or a Mother's Day Out program (usually at least two days a week). While every family should make their own decision about what is best for them, don't start with the assumption that your child will fail in life if you don't send them to "school" as a baby, toddler, or preschooler.

A few of my thoughts, take them or leave them:
They are your children. You are fully capable of parenting them. All of them. The moms at Annie's dance class were shocked (I mean, really, really shocked. There were a few jaws on the floor. For real.) last week when I said I take my three munchkins grocery shopping with me. Every week. I think to myself, "that's just what I do!" I am not super mom and my kids are not one hundred percent perfectly behaved, but we do pretty well. Life is made up of teaching moments and that's what we do as we do what needs to be done. Some days are for fun at the zoo, some days are for grocery shopping and taking the dog to the vet. That's life. They might as well learn it now. :)

If you are a stay at home mom, it is your job is to take care of the kids and household. Now, I am thankful to get a lot of help from my mom. She usually babysits for a couple of hours one afternoon a week. If she wasn't able to do that, I would probably consider a MDO program one morning a week. You've got to get your hair cut sometime! But you aren't entitled to time off from being a mom. Being a mom is a selfless business. It's hard sometimes, I know. But it's your job. And it can be lots of fun, too. My kids miss me so much when I do leave them for a few hours. They really do love having me around!

You can teach your own child all the concepts and life skills they need. What better place to learn than in the family, the structure God created for the growth of children? Annie and JJ know their letters, numbers, colors, etc. We incorporate those topics throughout our day. At the grocery store, what color are the bananas? At dinner, how many napkins do we need to set the table? In the car, they find letters on signs as we drive around town. More importantly, they learn to play cooperatively together. They are learning to solve their own squabbles and share their toys, and find joy in helping their siblings.

That's all I've got for now. Nap time will be over soon and I've got a kitchen to clean and dogs to groom. If MDO works well for you, great. I really mean that. Just don't assume you can't do it yourself, you are stronger than you think!

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