In reply to . . . "How are you doing?"

Many of you have asked how we are doing. I'm not really sure how to answer that. We are doing better than I expected we would be. We are sad. In particular, I feel very empty. It hurts. We wanted Noel so badly, but we were only able to enjoy our baby for a few short weeks. We still have a lot to process through.

Some things that are helping:

These verses from Psalm 121:
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

And these from Lamentations 3:
21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;therefore I will wait for him."
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

This article http://www.babygrief.com/whereisgod.html by Luis Palau, in particular this statement:
"Every life is a complete life, even though it may not look that way to us. The Bible says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16). That means God knows exactly how long each of us will live. Some miscarry; some live more than a century. But every life is a complete life. We may not understand this completely, and accepting it will never take all the sting out of our loss, but embracing this as truth can help to soften the blow. Whether a life spans decades or blooms and fades in minutes, it is a complete life. God makes no mistakes."

A cd I got for Christmas: Laura Story's Great God Who Saves. When I asked for the cd I didn't realize the backstory: "After one year of marriage, Story’s husband was hospitalized with a brain tumor. “There was a time he was on a breathing machine and we weren’t sure he was going to make it. I spent my whole life singing, ‘’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,’ but until Jesus took me through something where my only option was to trust Him, I didn’t really know that sweetness,” reflects Story. While supporting her husband through surgery, radiation, complications, and intense physical therapy, Story composed new rubber-meets-the-road songs to reaffirm God’s presence in her darkest hours." (from her website at http://www.laurastorymusic.com/LauraStory_v1a_Bio.html) As I've listened to her cd over and over this past week, every song reflects God's grace, His faithfulness, His healing. One of my favorites is called "Make Something Beautiful." I've turned these lyrics into my heart's prayer. I'll be honest, I haven't been able to sing these lyrics this week. But today I managed to squeak them out. It wasn't a pretty sound, but I did it. I have faith it will get easier.

Verse 1:
When I'm at the point of breaking at the place where I resign
And I'm at the stage of shaking my head as I look back on my life
When I'm halfway through the grieving, but not quite through the ache
When I cannot see the ending, or which road I'm supposed to take
All I know to do is lift my hands to You

Chorus:
Take all of my life, all of my life
And make something beautiful
I open my hand, trusting Your plan
Make something beautiful so all will see
Your work in me, as You make something beautiful

Verse 2:
When I'm tired of pretending, and I can't recall my lines
Do I say, I'm barely breathing, or just say, I'm doing fine
I admit there is a yearning, for the hurting to subside
But not at the risk of missing what You're doing with my life
All I know to do is lift my hands to You

Chorus:
Take all of my life, all of my life
And make something beautiful
I open my hand, trusting Your plan
Make something beautiful so all will see
Your work in me, as You make something beautiful

Dear friends who have shared their own stories of loss and recovery with me. And these two articles by women who have experienced a miscarriage: http://www.kyria.com/topics/hottopics/womensissues/9.42.html?start=1 and http://powertochange.com/discover/faith/kimberlyb/?section_id=33

Most of all, your prayers and support. Your encouragement means more to us than you could possibly know. We wouldn't be doing near as well as we are if it weren't for you continually taking us to the Lord in prayer. We feel His presence more than ever right now. Thank you.